Monday, January 26, 2015
This New Year will mark a clean slate of dating opportunities for countless hopeful singles out there. Like resolutions, our desires to find new love fill us with optimism.
The idea of a new love heals us from the past and encourages us to start anew, in hopes for something more incredible than ever before. The very idea of novelty is exciting, refreshing and pure.
But does new love always feel genuinely fresh? Or can it sometimes feel stale, as both parties have such a past? As we meet more and more lovers, words and feelings can get rather redundant without even realizing. So here are a few reminders to keep you from ever going stale with a new lover.
1. Highlight the unique attributes you’ve never dated before
You may have dated x number of women/men, but you definitely will not come across two people who are exactly identical. Sure, a new lover may have traits that remind you of your ex, but try to focus on the different rather than the familiar. Voice it out loud, mention how you’ve never seen this or felt that before. Be attentive to the new elements in your relationship and it’ll feel like first love all over again.
2. Try new things
This one is a given, but always a good reminder. Be explorative, go to a new city, try a new activity. If you have a go-to date spot that feels safe or popular, don’t go there. Like you did with your first love, make every event a new chance to discover and explore.
3. Use new nicknames
The typical pet names like “babe” or “honey” can be dangerous, especially if you’ve had a longer relationship in the past. If you’re used to “babe” rolling off your tongue, chances are it’s a habit carried over from the past. Catch yourself and think of something more original – it’ll feel much more intimate and personalized.
4. Start new traditions
Some couple-y traditions are hard to alter – like if you would always call your ex at a certain time, or have dinners on Sundays, or spend every Halloween together. Of course, you will practice some of the same routines you practiced with your ex. But don’t let the traditions be exactly just that. What you can do is think of ways to break your old habits by creating new ones.
5. Love with all your heart
Go that extra mile. It’s easy to get discouraged or skeptical or even embarrassed when you yourself have a past and you’re dating someone new with his/her respective past. Don’t let things that no longer matter get in the way of something with vast potential. Love like you have never been hurt before, push yourself to be evermore giving, understanding and in love – and it will not feel stale even after years.